Creep

Well, its been ages. I always knew blogging would be something that i would be sporadically prolific at though, so not surprising.

So, anyways, we have been trading interesting hospital stories at work lately, and there were a few that were pretty gross, so my first thought was of course that i should totally share them with the internet. Coz I'm generous like that.

The other day we had a patient who had a 24 hour heart monitor on. I was the only one available to remove it for him, which we should have known would spell disaster straight away. I ALWAYS get the interesting patients. So I was disconnecting him from the wires, taking off all the electrodes etc, and I pulled at the cords to get them away from the patient, assuming that like most people he had just tucked the excess into his pants. Of course you should never assume in such a situation.

"Hold on a second dear" He said, beginning to sweat and reaching into his pants

Eyebrows raised and ready to run from the room I said "Um, ok" and dropped the leads

A couple of minutes later I was glad I have had lots of practice at not showing any expression as he turned around and said

"The cords kept falling out of my belt so I have looped them around my testicles" And handed me the cords.

Later, as I was downloading the data and adding the details from the patient diary on to the computer I noticed this entry

"After a series of bowel motions of a very loose disposition I went to bed"

followed by

"Diarrhea"

and I got up and washed my hands again. And washed the monitor again. And ran out to tell my workmates. And AJ summed it up nicely with "hmm... and he had it tucked around his testicles yeah? Wow, I hope he wipes front to back"