The wheels on the bus go round and round

Some people seem to beleive that when they are in a bus seat nobody around them can see what they are doing. Take for instance the girl this morning. She got on in Kilbirnie, and looked around shiftily (shiftily is SO a word) then out of her bag she got a bowl, and a packet of coco-pops and some milk. Then she commenced to eating her breakfast right there on the bus. Unsurprisingly the first time the driver went round a corner, milk went everywhere. I was actually pretty impressed that she got that far without spilling anything.

Theres also the girl who waits until she is on the bus to do her makeup. And some days, it looks like she has done it on a bus beleive me. But most days, the way she confidently brushes her eyelashes with the thickest coat of mascara known to man is just something to behold. Once she started with the mascara about 5 minutes after getting on the bus, there was quite a bit of traffiic so it took us about 45 minutes to get into town, and she was going at it with that little mascara brush the whole time! She must have had the heaviest eyelashes in the world that day. The muscle power required by her eyelids just to even blink would have been amazing. If she had that power proportionate in all her other muscles she could have rivalled Superman. And that would have been cool because we need more superheroes, but I just dont think "Mascara Girl" is a name that strikes fear into the hearts of evil-doers


Then there is the guy that gets on, looks around shiftily (the more times you use it, the more likely it is to become an actual word) then starts picking his nose. EVERY morning. And not just a little "oh, Ive got an itch at the end of my nose that needs scratching" pick, this is a full on finger right up the nose pick. And its not a small nose, if he isnt careful he could actually lose his finger up there. When he is done he wipes whatever yummy treats he finds up there on the seat. If you are ever catching a bus in Wellington, do not sit in the third row from the back. Unless you like other people's snot, in which case, well.... EW!

When Kate and I used to catch the bus together there was this couple that was always on the bus with us. They got off somewhere around the centre of town, usually before us, and would always say "thanks Steve" as they got off the bus. Using our brilliant powers of deduction we decided that clearly, the driver's name MUST be Steve. Well, duh of course it must be. But then one day I was going back into town late in the afternoon and Steve got on the bus and sat down in the seat across from me. We commenced to chatting, and I at some stage said "So, your name is Steve right?". He looked at me pretty strangely, and answered in the negative. Then of course he asked why on earth I would think that. I mentioned the couple and their "thanks Steve-ing" and he burst out laughing. "I KNOW!" He said loudly, making me jump "They have been doing that for 6 months now, every morning, and I dont get it. My name is Charlie by the way". Kate and I had a good giggle about that, but then sadly one day, the Steves stopped catching the bus. And we thought all our amusement had gone away

About a week later a very nervous looking platinum blonde lady got on, pushed people out of her way and acted like a general ass, drawing attention to herself straight away. So we had to make snarkey comments because, well, who wouldnt really. She had these giant glasses on, she looked like a fish. And she was wearing a black power suit with a lime green top. Right out of the eighties. As she got to her desired stop she pushed the button to alight, marched in the direction of the door, and stood there looking huffy as the driver maneouvered his way into the stop. As the doors opened she strode forwards, tripping on the metal bit in the doorway, as she stumbled to the pavement you could hear, very definately if a little mumbled "Thanks Steve". And I'm sure she heard us burst out laughing as Charlie looked at us in the mirror and winked.